Bryce Dallas Howard: I Don't Get It

Can someone explain the career of actress Bryce Dallas Howard to me? 'Cause I really don't get it. I just read that she has been cast in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, the third installment in the teenybopper vampire series. Howard will be playing a Victoria, a character that was played by Montreal actress Rachel Lefevre in the first two films. I'm at a loss how this woman continues to get work in Hollywood, and stranger yet, how she continues to get work in big, mainstream movies. Howard's resume thus far reads like a train wreck. Her first big role was in M. Night Shyamalan's The Village. Howard played the ridiculous blind character Ivy and delivered a performance worthy of a high school play. In a movie filled with suck, she still managed to stand out in her terribleness. Much like when George Lucas refused to remove Jar Jar Binks from the Episode II of his ill-fated "new" Star Wars trilogy, Shymalan came right back with Howard in his next stinker, Lady In the Water. I think she played a mermaid in that film. It looked so incredibly bad that I couldn't bring myself to watch it, and after seeing her acting chops in The Village, I was quite certain she had no chance of redeeming it's idiotic plot. She plays a mermaid from a children's story trying to get back to "her world." I'm not kidding, that's really the plot of the film. Needless to say, the movie totally tanked at the box office.

Howard next inexplicably surfaced in Spiderman 3. Among fans of the Spiderman movies, the third entry is known as "the shitty one." My friend Pat Thornton (check out his series Hotbox on the Comedy Network) is a massive fan of Spiderman, and I remember doing a promotional bit with him for the movie for MTV. The next day I called him to see how he liked the flick, and

he was almost depressed by how much he didn't enjoy it. Howard can't be blamed for what a mess that film was, but she certainly wasn't any good in it. Somehow her legacy of shit didn't stop her from landing another big gig, co-starring in this summer's Terminator: Salvation. Once again, Howard appears in a film that fails to meet fan expectations and the movie tanks hard at the box office. It's amazing that movie came out this summer. It came and went so fast and fizzled so quickly at the box office that it almost feels like it never happened at all. At what point to producers start to connect the dots here? How is that she can string together stinker after stinker without it having any effect on her career? Why the hell would Summit Entertainment want to bring her on board?

I fully understand that an actress who's not very good at, well, acting, yet still finds success in Hollywood isn't exactly a new thing. Pamela Anderson has starred in multiple television shows and Carmen Electra, inexplicably, is a card-carrying member of the Screen Actor's Guild. But - how shall I put this delicately - it's not difficult to understand why producers might be willing to look the other way when casting them despite their limited talents as thespians. Megan Fox acknowledged in interviews doing press for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that nobody has seen whether she can act or not despite starring roles in two big blockbusters. Ms. Howard is no Megan Fox. Hell, she's no Matthew Fox. This woman looks like she could be the stunt double for Cynthia Nixon for crying out loud.

I know some people will say "She's getting these chances cause her father is Ron Howard!" and I don't doubt that nepotism likely played a role in her getting her foot in the door. But Ron Howard isn't so incredibly powerful that he can force studios to keep casting his daughter. I suspect that while people point the finger at Ronnie as the reason she's getting work, I suspect the real thing you could blame him for his her looks. What, I'm an asshole for saying she's not hot? Please, it's Hollywood, if you don't want to be judged by your looks, don't pose for pictures like this:

So, to the producers of Eclipse, you've been warned. Howard will likely stink in your new film, and while I assume you think nothing can stop the license to print money that is the rights to the Twilight series, if anything can sink your movie, it's the box office poison that is Bryce Dallas Howard.

Even vampires have their weaknesses, and she's like a cross made out of garlic. With red hair.

Anvil! The Legend Grows...

Anvil! The Story of Anvil was one of my favorite films of the past year. Forget Slumdog Millionaire, this rock-doc is the real feel good movie of the year. For those not familiar with the documentary, it tells the story of a Toronto based metal band called Anvil. In the early 80's, they were at the forefront of the metal scene and were often cited as an influence for bands like Megadeth, Metallica and Guns N' Roses. While those bands all rose to fame and fortune, Anvil got left behind. Amazingly, the band never gave up, and this incredible documentary catches up with them today, still gigging, still churning out budget albums, still chasing the dream, and despite everything, still hopelessly, naively thinking that their big break is just around the corner.

The movie is a strange hybrid, really. In many ways, it's quite comical. Most reviews talk about it being a "real life" This is Spinal Tap, but that's really a lazy comparison because both films feature heavy metal bands desperate to taste success. That being said, it is undeniably funny, even if it is unintentionally so. The naive, almost child like "I'm gonna be a rock star" ambition of the middle-aged band members, and the erie sense that perhaps they are the only people that don't realize their window for success closed a long, long time ago make them impossible to dislike, even if you are pitying them at the same time. But what makes the film really compelling, is the heart at its middle. It's really tale of a friendship forged in a mutual admiration for hard rock music and a child-like wonder for what it means to be a "rock star." But more then that, it's two guys who at age 14 said "This is my dream, and I'm never gonna give up until I make it." And here they are today, still rocking, still loyal to each other and still believing they can make it happen. For me, watching the movie I went from sort of snickering at them and thinking "Good God, why don't they just give it up?" to rooting for them and admiring them for their spirit and their drive and their belief that giving up is simply not an option.

The most incredible part of this story is that the film about how they never got their big break, of course, has now become their big break in itself. As the movie started to garner a cult following, the band started doing screenings that were followed by a live gig, and slowly, in a grassroots fashion, the band started playing to bigger audiences, and, for the first time in decades, started to make new fans.

I produced an interview with the band several months ago, when the film was released, and they were excited about the new opportunities that the buzz of the film was creating for them, and since then, I've been following their success and rooting for these guys. And it's been quite a ride. First, I was amazed to see them as the musical guests on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Then came word last month that Anvil was booked to open for AC/DC on tour. (Interestingly, we asked them, when we interviewed them, why they were never offered a gig opening for any of the myriad of bands that have cited them as a big influence. Lipps, the lead singer, gave a very political answer about how it depends on whether the promoter of the tour owed a favor to so-and-so and whether the record label for the headlining act had a personal agenda to support such-and-such a band, blah blah blah, but you got the feeling what he was really thinking was I've been asking myself that same question for twenty years! So I was quite pleased to see that that exact situation had come to fruition.

So now, with the DVD for Anvil! The Story of Anvil slated for release in September, the band has added another funny chapter to their colorful history. WIth a renewed interest in the band, you would think their back catalog would be doing brisk business, but the bulk of their albums were essentially self-made and put out by a series of fly-by-night labels which means if you didn't buy the album at a gig around the time it came out, good luck finding any of it. A soundtrack to a film about a rock band seems like a no-brainer, but when producers tried to assemble an Anvil "Greatest HIts" record to serve as the official sound track to Anvil! The Story of Anvil they discovered the label that owns their old catalog stuff wanted an absurd amount to license the tracks. The solution? Anvil went back into the studio and have re-recorded their classic tracks, some of which dates back to the early 1980's. Surely this is a first ... has a band ever had to re-record their own material in order to put out a Greatest Hits album?

Honestly, that sounds like it's straight out of This Is Spinal Tap!

Kung Fu Cyborg!

I really think that Michael Bay is a total hack as a film director. His movies are literally everything I dislike about about the current state of Hollywood. The best thing to happen to the cineplex would be a fiery car crash that would see Michael Bay t-bone Brett Ratner with no survivors.

Now, that being said, Bay's craptastic Transformers films are clearly the inspiration for this movie, and for that, I am thankful.

Behold - the greatest movie trailer in the history of cinema - Metallic Attraction: Kung Fu Cyborg! This trailer really is fantastic. I love that the voice over just keeps saying almost random things, including "a super secret research project." Hmmm, super secret? Then there's my favorite "a town torn asunder." Right ... sorry what happened to the town? "One is a pessimist... one, not so much." I love this trailer! I don't think I need to see the film cause there's no way it can live up to this amazing, random trailer. But I bet you it's twice as good as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

American Idiot: The Movie

Let me start by saying I'm not a fan of Green Day. I didn't mind some of their earlier stuff, but I think American Idiot is quite likely the most overrated album of the decade. In fact, when I become the Master of Time Space & Dimension among the things I will ban from the planet are bands creating "rock operas." It's been done, fellas, and unless you're gonna improve upon what The Who have done - and you did not - then what the hell is the point? Does anybody really want a state of the union from a guy named Billie Joe?

Of course, many people disagree with me and the album went on to sell millions of copies despite being filled with generic faux-punk music, almost comically pretentious lyrics and a cheesy story line about "Jesus of Suburbia." Now Green Day have moved on to a new shitty rock opera album (I'm just guessing on the shitty part) it would seem American Idiot is a thing of the past.

But no... In September a stage musical version of the album will launch at Berkley Theatre in California; which is easy enough to avoid, but now comes news that Billie Joe wants to do a film version of it as well. A film version?!? Really? Does this lame 'story' need to be told in another medium? Wasn't it already enough of a pointless mess on the album? Why spread this crap elsewhere?

It gets worse.

Billie Joe - in all of his wisdom - feels that American Idiot has a kindred spirit with another pop culture favorite. "I thought American Idiot had a lot in common with something like the Rocky Horror Picture Show" he told the Associated Press. Yes this bozo thinks his cliched story of disenchanted suburban youth is similar to the story of a transvestite Dr. Frankenstien. Plot-wise, he can't possibly think these two things are entwined, so perhaps he's simply (and naively) saying that he wants to make an enduring cult-classic midnight show type movie. What is this clown talking about? I thought the idea of turning this sub-par shitty generic punk-pop record into a movie was truly horrible, but if this egomaniacal ass clown actually tries to fuse it with elements of Rocky Horror, he could create a shitbomb so big that he and his overrated band may never recover. So, reluctantly, I'm all for it.

What Billie Joe doesn't understand - and I suspect there is a long list of things he doesn't understand - is that you can't set out to make a cult classic like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. In fact, even the makers of the movie couldn't come close to recapturing it. Rocky Horror actually has a sequel, titled Shock Treatment, that came out in 1981 and most people don't even know exists cause it bombed hard. It seems likely a movie version of American Idiot will actually have a lot more in common with Shock Treatment then Rocky Horror.

But what do I know?

Madonna: Stay the Hell Out of the Gym

Now, before I get into this rant, let me open by saying, I acknowledge that Madonna is a pop music icon and she really is unrivaled in pop music in terms of longevity for a female artist. And she gets full credit for successfully re-inventing herself and re-positioning herself and re-branding herself in order to do that. I give her even more credit when you factor in that she can't really sing very well and doesn't appear to have much musical talent at all.

But for the love of god, look at this picture! What the hell is going on here? For someone as iconic as her, and someone who's clearly been a trend-setter and an inadvertent role model for women and girls, this really isn't sending the right message. She's been obsessed with working out for years and years, but this just looks awful.

Madonna's arrival on the popculture scene was around the time I turned 12. Needless to say, seeing her rolling around on the stage in wedding dress with her lacy bra and stocking tops clearly visible was burned into my brain.

I had posters of Madonna, pictures from crappy music magazines and watched her videos with ... particular interest. It was not lost on my parents that I only ever seemed to have a passing interest in her music. I remember, when word came out that Madonna was going to appear in Playboy magazine, my 12 year old brain almost melted. I'm not sure where I got the idea that this was an acceptable thing to do, but I went and asked my mother if she would purchase the magazine for me. Amazingly, she agreed to do so, and my first 'smut' mag was in my hands, courtesy my impossibly cool mother. Well, you can imagine my surprise when I furiously flipped through the magazine only to find black and white pictures of Madonna, with black hair and armpits that could be described as "European." But, unquestionably, the curvy physique she had was undeniably female and clearly quite appealing. Now she appears to be an extra from The Nightmare Before Christmas and it's hard to believe shes gone from sex symbol to coat rack. Sad.

The Zombification of Halloween

I'm not a fan of Rob Zombie. I've never liked his music, and his ventures into motion picture direction have left me ... unimpressed. That being said, I'm at least happy there is a director with some kind of profile working in horror films, even if I'm not a fan of his movies. Horror films somehow equate to slumming it in the industry, something I've never quite understood because, frankly, making a good horror film; a movie that genuinely shocks, scares or disturbs an audience is a very difficult thing to do and requires a skilled filmmaker.

Unfortunately, Rob Zombie is not a skilled filmmaker. He's got a new movie coming out in August, a sequel to his remake of Halloween. I really truly hated his remake. Hated is almost too weak a word to describe it. I hated it with a burning hate as hot as a thousand suns. If the film had simply been Rob Zombie walking into frame, unspooling John Carpenter's original classic, unzipping and urinating on it while giving the audience the finger, that would have been roughly the same thing to me. I went to the screening, fully expecting to hate the film, but so... compelled to go see it anyone because I so loved the original series of films as a kid. (Well, really only Halloween, Halloween II and Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, but the point remains the same.) So to prepare myself, I brought an ally, my friend Lucky who was ideally qualified because she was well versed enough in the Halloween lore that she met the snobby criteria as a horror fan and B) She was more the sufficiently funny in the likely scenario that the film was awful and we would need to yell at the screen and make sarcastic remarks in order to keep ourselves entertained. To this day, two years after that screening, we still email each other pictures of Rob Zombie that simply read "Fuck Rob Zombie" so that gives you an idea of how much we appreciated his take on this classic horror character. I don't need to get into the myriad of reasons why I hated his take on the story, because that's not the point, but the one good thing that came out of his Zombification of Michael Myers was that he swore off any sequels.

After his remake was released in 2007, he told Entertainment Weekly "I'm not going to do anymore Halloween films, or any remakes of any kind." Well that's good news! And then, of course, comes word Zombie's new film would be...

Halloween II. To make things worse, Zombie, in doing his press for the new film, never acknowledged that he promised he wouldn't make this movie and on top of it says that he's excited about the sequel because it's completey "his own creation." Right.... Um, there's been nine previous Halloween films. Michael Myers is an icon of slasher cinema. So let's not pretend you've done anything other then re-hashed them like countless other nameless filmmakers have before you. (The Halloween series, outside of John Carpenter who made the first film, has not really seen any directors of any merit. Rick Rosenthal, Dwight H. Little, Dominique Othenin-Girard, Joe Chappelle, not exaclty "ring a bell" type names.) But Zombie - who it appears to have a inflated sense of self-worth - went on to criticize Carpenter's work on the first film, which is widely regarded as a classic. "These are characters he wrote and not me. So they're not characters I would have come up with or the way I would have handled it." Yeah, cause the problem with the remake was that Zombie was stuck with all that lousy John Carpenter stuff. Riiiiiiiight.

So we get this new, original take where Rob Zombie isn't shackled by the limitations of Carpenter's imagination. And what has he come up with? Well, judging by the trailers, he's stolen much of Carpenter's idea from the original Halloween II that has Myers stalking Laurie Strode in a hospital. Oh, and that thing in Friday the 13th, where the killer is being told to kill by a voice from beyond the grave? Yeah, he stole that too. Perhaps the real issue is that when he was making the remake he was stuck just stealing ideas from one movie instead of a slew of them.

So now, with the release of Rob Zombie's Halloween II just around the corner Zombie recently told MTV, when asked if he would direct the inevitable Halloween III, "No. I could not see that in any shape, way or form. Never." Right Rob, we heard that one before. If only you were a man of your word.

Ugly Guy Beds Hot Girl: Only In Hollywood

This past sunday on Entourage, there appeared to be a bit of a running inside-joke stemming from the fact that Jerry Ferrara, the actor who plays Turtle in the show is dating Jamie Lynn Sigler, both in real life and on the show (where she plays herself.)

As last season wrapped up, the guys were in a state of utter disbelief that Turtle could be dating her. So in last weeks episode, the character of Turtle repeatedly expresses disbelief that Katherine Heigl's chracter in Knocked Up would bed Seth Rogen. He simply doesn't buy that a woman that looks like her would sleep with someone as "ugly" as Rogen.

Yesterday on The Aftershow, they talked about this scene. I got into a conversation with one of the shows hosts, Jessi Cruickshank, who actually went to high school with Rogen in Vancouver, about this phenomenon. She was wondering if there are more examples of this in movies, the... less attractive man bedding the beautiful woman. Now, of course there are many cases of this in Hollywood where ancient leading men and their 20-something year old starlet are paired, but when it comes to a man and a woman of the same age, it's much more rare. It really is more of a small screen phenomenon, because lets face it, there are less ugly people on the big screen, especially in leading roles.

In sitcoms, there’s been some absurd pairings for sure. Jerry Seinfeld’s string of girlfriends on Seinfeld were incredibly implausible. Make no mistake, he’s an unfortunate looking man, but episode after episode he was bedding model calibre women. For that matter, the George Constanza character also did way better then reality would dictate. The show King of Queens paired Kevin James with Leah Rimini, not likely, ditto for According to Jim that paired up James Belushi with Courtney Thorne-Smith.

The logic here, I suspect, is that funny, confident men can do well with the ladies … but it’s a bit of a stretch. On the flip side of the gender coin, there’s a school of thought that says casting a less attractive female lead in a romantic story makes the lead “more accessible” to the female audience. I’ve never heard of a straight man that thought Barbra Striesand was even remotely attractive, but she bedded Robert Redford on the big screen.

Hell, she did a ton of movies where she was the romantic lead! This is the same theory that works for Sex and the City. Again, I’ve never heard men say much positive about Sarah Jessica Parker's looks – she is, afterall horse-faced – but in Sex and the City she has all sorts of men interested in her, many of them waaaaaay out of her league. Poor John Corbett, he was stuck as arm candy for Sarah Jessica Parker and Nia Vardalos in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Corbett even did a second tour of duty, co-starring in another rom/com with Vardalos; the bombed-so-quickly-you've-probably-never-heard-of-it movie I Hate Valentine's. This flick was written and directed by Vardalos. Come to think of it, Steisand also fancies herself a director. Perhaps it's a requirement in order to get better looking co-stars for themselves, straight out of the Woody Allen playbook. I can just picture Nia on the set saying "Okay, then you cross to here and that's when you notice me walking into the room and it's love at first site. You've never seen a more beautiful woman." And Corbett's like "Really? That's how you wanna play it? Shouldn't I maybe look around to see if any of my buddies are around before I decide to come over and talk to you? Maybe I pound a couple of shots and ask the bartender to dim the lights, what do you think?"

The Seth Rogen situation … the “less attractive” male bedding the hot female character is much more rare, simply because less attractive males don’t play those roles. However, there is a mutation of this where the much much much older man beds the hot young co-star on screen. See any Woody Allen film for examples of this. His most recent film has the geriatric Larry David picking up Evan Rachel Wood. Not likely.

People were up in arms when Gwyneth Paltrow was cast as Michael Douglas’ wife in The Perfect Murder despite the fact she was playing a trophy wife. 25+ age gaps from the male lead to the female lead is common in Hollywood.

So what's the moral of the story? Well, maybe that Turtle has a point. But then again, Turtle takes Jamie Lynn Sigler home at the end of the night so maybe it would best if he kept quiet about the whole thing altogether.

Twilight II: The Revenge

Check this out before the studio makes me take it down.... a leaked photo from the upcoming Twilight sequel that leaks a major plot point ... the death of Edward Cullen!

With credit to the person who originally stole this picture from elsewhere and didn't offer credit, the one and only deerwolf. Check him out @ http://deerwolf.tumblr.com/

Do It Yourself Rock N' Roll

So tomorrow I'm producing an interview with The Dead Weather. I produce a lot of music interviews - sort of the nature of the beast at MTV - but it's a nice bonus when its a band you really dig.

I dig The Dead Weather. their debut album Horehound features grimy, dirty, raw blues based rock. There's a rawness and unpredictability to the music that reminds me of what drew me to rock n' roll music in the first place. This is quite possibly the most words into anything on the internet about this band without mentioning that The Dead Weather is the latest of Jack White's musical projects. I refuse to call this a "supergroup" because I think that phrase is really quite stupid - and after the dude from Hanson (side note: I once almost bought a t-shirt that read "I fucked the chick from Hanson", but I opted against it. I'm not one to brag about sexual conquests, so fear not Scarlett Johansson, I won't say a thing) Where was I? Oh yeah, once the Hanson dude teamed up with the drummer from Cheap Trick and a few other guys and formed a "supergroup" I think that pretty much killed the phrase altogether. Instead, I will call it a group assembled out of members of other current bands. But that's not what interests me about this project.

Their debut disc, which was written, recorded and mixed over just five weeks is truly a do-it-yourself project. White produced the album at his personal Nashville based studio and was released on his vanity label, Third Man Records. The band photography, album cover design and layout of all of the packaging was also done entirely in house. This record was entirely created by the musicians themselves. What a novel idea!

As a movie geek, I've long lamented the end of the era where the director ruled in Hollywood. In the 1970's, visionary directors like Francis Ford Coppola, Brian DePalma, Michael Cimino and Martin Scorsese, among others, were free to make their movies their way, and as a result, we got some truly outstanding films in that decade. Jaws and Star Wars also came out of that decade, meaning the blockbuster was born, and soon it became clear to the money people that they couldn't trust the directors, who were talented story tellers with so much money at stake, so instead of leaving the artist in charge, you got "focus groups" and marketing experts to weigh in and now, instead of movies like Raging Bull we get Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

This same sickness seaped into the music industry, now more than ever. With a large chunk of cash being syphoned out of the record companies coffers by illegal downloads (I know, can you believe some people do that? For shame) less and less artists get record deals while the labels go with "safer" choices like the 3rd runner up from American Idol or the bimbo from Gossip Girl and whoever the Disney Channel thinks they can milk next.

In light of all this, it feels like a glimmer of hope when you come across a band like The Dead Weather. Whether you like the music or not, it's refreshing to put on a CD and know that every note of the music, every aspect of the mix and even the layout of the CD cover itself is exactly the way the musicians that created the music wanted it.

After all, isn't that how it's supposed to be in the first place?

This might be awesome ... with a side of sweet.

Nic Cage To Destroy "Green Hornet"

I'm not a big fan of superhero movies. It's never really been my thing. I liked Richard Donner's Superman but I was five years old when that came out. Back then, my favorite movie was pretty much always the last one that I saw. I really liked Tim Burton's Batman. Didn't much like his sequel, and hated the entire Joel Shumacher era. (Speaking of him, is he like in Hollywood jail? After his Batman sins, he made 8MM and then sort of vanished to b-movies.)

But overall, I can't really say I'm a big superhero guy when it comes to flicks. But I have to admit, Seth Rogen's Green Hornet was something I was following with growing interest. This is particularly unusual because I literally know nothing of the Green Hornet at all. I've never read a comic book in my entire life, let alone a Green Hornet one. (Hang on, do "Archie's" count as comics? 'Cause I've read those.)

But the movie was still intriguing to me for a few reasons. First, I love the casting of Seth Rogen. As I said, I'm a fan of Burton's "Batman" and that's largely because I love the casting of Michael Keaton. First, I think he's a great actor; and he has a ton of chrasima. But what I really like about him in this film is he's not exactly what you'd expect for a "superhero" movie. The casting, at the time, was met with almost universal scorn. And this was in the pre-internet days when shitting on movies in production took a lot more effort than today. You actually had to make a considerable effort to share with the world that you know how to make the movie better. But I digress.

So I liked the odd casting of Rogen, and then when word came that the film would be directed by Michel Gondry it went from a film of interest to a must-see. And then, today, I read that Nic Cage is in talks to play the bad guy in this movie. A lot of time has passed since I saw a Nic Cage movie that didn't ultimately become a comedy due to his wretched over-acting and the thought of him playing a villain in a comic book movie, where he might be encouraged to chew the scenery and it doesn't look good.

Nicholas Cage shouldn't be allowed to do a comic book movie. Actually, in a perfect world, he shouldn't be allowed to make movies at all. But comic book movies, in particular, he should avoid. Why? Well, first of all, he made Ghost Rider. They couldn't even cut a trailer for that thing without including unintentional comedy. You just know the second it came out Halle Berry high-fived Ben Affleck cause they knew that Catwoman and Daredevil got pushed down the list of uber-shitty superhero movies. (By the way, Cage actually has a Ghost Rider 2 in pre-production now. I have no clue how he gets studios to fund this shit... I mean do you know anybody that liked that movie? Anyone at all?)

But on top of his incredibly crappy taste in scripts (he was supposed to be in Sam Raimi's Spiderman but passed. What a clown.), Despite that, make no mistake, this guy is a comic nerd. He and his son Weston (who now fancies himself a rock and roll star) co-created a comic book called "Voodoo Child" together. It goes much further, though... This clown actually named his other son Kal-El Cage. Kal-El! For the non-nerds reading, Kal-El is Superman's given name. Why not just name the kid Beat The Shit Out Of Me Cage, because with Kal-El, he's doomed his son to a world of wedgies, noogies and drop kicks. Like most comic book fans, creepy Cage is also a collector. The man is a massive Elvis Presley fan, has collected Elvis memorabilia for years and then ... married Elvis' daughter, Lisa Marie. This poor woman can count Nic Cage and Michael Jackson as her ex-husbands! So why the hell does Gondry want this man in his film? He's gonna be waaaay too into it. And when Nic Cage over-acts, it's a disaster. Much like Robert DeNiro, it's hard to believe the shitty actor we see today is the same guy that brought us such killer performances years ago. Nic Cage was brilliant in Raising Arizona, Wild At Heart, Leaving Las Vegas .... but that was then.... now the only interesting thing about his new films is seeing what horrible hair piece he'll wear on Letterman shilling it.

On the bright side, I'm sure, as the villain, his objective will be to destroy the Green Hornet, and if he's cast, that's exactly what he'll do.