October 23, 2009

Lucasfilm makes their lameness collectable

Lucasfilm, a company that has spent more then a decade pissing all over the incredible legacy they built for themselves in the late '70's and '80's with the Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchises before releasing new, remarkably shitty installments to their iconic series' have now made their remarkable lameness "collectable."

They've teamed with Sideshow Collectibles to make a limited edition run of 600 12" Indiana Jones figures emerging from a refrigerator. Yes, they've decided to commemorate the scene that elicited groans from the audience when I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and spawned the phrase "nuking the fridge;" a term used to describe the precise moment when a beloved film franchise officially becomes utter shit. To recap, in the film Indiana Jones stumbles into a test site for a nuclear bomb, but he manages to escape by simply getting inside a refrigerator, which, while everything around it is destroyed, is simply thrown a great distance from the blast site and because it's lead lined somehow saves Jones, who emerges from the fridge completely unscathed. Let me just repeat, this was a nuclear blast.
The limited run of just 600 figures - and fridges - have already sold out, so if you wanted to have a timeless reminder of how truly shitty and disappointing the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series was, sadly, you'll have to look elsewhere. But I would like to congratulate George Lucas, and his terrifying bearded turkey neck for finding another way to monetize how he fucked up a beloved film franchise from my youth.

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