July 30, 2010

Sad

FISHBURNE'S DAUGHTER MONTANA
With a press release so thoroughly retarded that it almost sounds like satire, Laurence Fishburne's daughter Montana has revealed that she's lined up her first project that will, hopefully, vault her into the public's eye.  She's making a fuck-tape that will be released by major pornographic film distributor Vivid Entertainment.  "I view making this movie as an important first step in my career," the nineteen year old said. "I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid."   Wait a second - what?   I'm not sure what's making my brain hurt more here, that this poor girl equate "successful" with "famous" because I'm not quite sure what about Miss Kardashian's accomplishments one could consider "successful."  In all honestly, I'm not sure what she's accomplished at all besides being plastered on US Magazine and being a regular on TMZ.   Montana, who, like Kardashian, comes from a family with plenty of money thanks to her father's successful acting career, went on to say "I'm hoping the same magic will work for me.  I'm impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities and this seemed like a great way to get started on it."   She's "impatient" about getting well-known?   Really?  Fame used to be a by-product. People used to have a passion to do something, be it acting, being a musician or being an athlete and their success in that field would translate into recognition and fame.  In the new millennium, with the dawn of reality television and the paparazzi mutating into a 24-hour a day beast that exists everywhere and anywhere providing around the clock
PORN STARLET 'CHIPPY D'
coverage of celebrities and celebutards have created a new monster: the fame whore.   Never has that expression ever been more apt then in describing this poor, dim girl who's going to spread her legs for the camera in scenes shot "in a car, a hotel room and a public mall" to get her face - and her vagina - into the public eye in effort to accelerate her being "well-known." Not quite sure what Laurence's response to this is, sadly this news came out on his brithday of all things, nor do I know the state of his relationship with his daughter, but I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that it's strained. But if not Larry, someone needs to explain to this dimwit that a large part of the success of the sex-tapes released by both Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton was that these were two girls who the public were already familiar with who's sex-tapes got released after the fact, and, despite what cynics might think, they at least created the illusion these tapes were released without their consent.   Montana Fishburne, who already has a pornstar first name, is going by the porn name "Chippy D" despite the movie being named Montana Fishburne, is just another teenage bimbo getting defiled by a hired swordsman in a sex video released by Vivid.   I'm not sure what the "opportunities" were that she thought this would bring her, but I suspect they will fall short of her expectations.   The video is set to be released on August 18th.  Check out the clip below of her discussing her brilliant career move... and not she's being "interviewed" by a man named Brian Pumper.  Classy.


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