October 27, 2009

Rob Zombie's An Idiot

I don't want to go on another rant about Rob Zombie and how shitty his take on John Carpenter's Halloween is. He was just the wrong choice to reboot the series and the good news is he's not involved in any plans for the series moving forward. Actually Rob, if you're reading this, why stop there? Instead of no longer making Halloween films, how about, no longer making films period? You can go back to focusing on your music. 'Cause that was just, really really great stuff. Just terrific. But I digress.

But just because he won't be involved with the proposed Halloween 3D, doesn't mean the stench of his efforts will soon waft past us. Back in August, when his Halloween II was released, while doing press to promote the film, Zombie revealed that he was working on his "director's cut" and that it would eventually be available on DVD. Wait a second... what? You're working on a director's cut? Then who's cut is the shitty movie that you just released in theatres? What kind of idiot tells you he's still working on his cut while he's promoting the film? I understand that marketing "director's cuts" and "unrated cuts" is a huge part of the horror DVD marketing plan, but have things really got to the point where the director of the film - while promoting the movie for theatrical release - reveals he's working on "his" cut that will be out on DVD? Why should fans even consider going to the theatre to see the other version of the film?

Well, this week, via twitter, Zombie revealed that "the director's cut is finally done." (Finally? Yes, the film was, after all, released to theatres in August.) Zombie, in an interview with the horror film website Icons of Fright, revealed how his cut differed from the theatrical version. The big difference was how the films heroine, Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis in the original series) was portrayed. In Zombie's new cut, she's "an incredible mess" with her life falling a part and a serious drug problem. He then added, ominously, "It makes for a real challenging movie to watch."

That's your sales pitch? The movie is "challenging to watch?" Thanks Rob, but I think I'll pass. This isn't a german art film. This is Halloween II. How about maybe making a film that the audience might actually like? What a douchebag.

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