May 21, 2010

Speaking of "Transformers 3..."

Celebutard Heidi Montag, the fembot creation of professional douchebag Spencer Pratt has (pathetically) thrown her hat into the ring as a replacement for Megan Fox in Transformers 3. Montag, who I am only now discovering is an actress, originally arrived on the pop culture radar as a cast member in the MTV series 'The Hills' previously tried to become a  pop star.  This consisted of her putting out a few amateurish music videos (that looked like late night phone sex commercials) announced "the songs will make an impact in pop history," issued an album, claimed it was as good as "Thriller" then saw it sell less then a thousand copies.  Rising Phoenix-like from the ashes of her "music career" Montag has now re-positioned herself as an actress, apparently.   Yesterday she  tweeted the following: "Michael Bay, I love your work!   I know what an artistic brilliant genius you are! Cast me in the next Transformers."  Montag, who embodies the rare combination of being incredibly plastic off-screen and incredibly wooden on it would be an amazing choice for thee vacant "run and scream with Shia" role.   I can't think of anyone more perfect for this movie really because they are both plagued by the same thing: shittiness. Heidi Montag is to actresses what Transformers is to movies.   Disposable, brainless, fake-looking, impossible to take seriously and inexplicably popular.   This is a match made in heaven.  Sadly even Michael Bay isn't stupid enough to consider the vapid blonde and I suspect her tweet was more about seeing her name in the paper then it was about expressing a real interest in the role; but I'm still not giving hope: Transformers 3 and Heidi Montag are too perfect to not make this work.

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